I feel the need to share my story. Maybe to help someone else along the lines or maybe its to help myself along the lines?!? I guess one way or the other hopefully it cant hurt!!!
As long as I can remember since a little girl, I remember waking up just enthusiastic about life! Couldn't wait to jump out of bed and start another day! Every school day ,work day , every single day with a smile on my face and just couldn't wait for the next step or phase in life! I was always striving to have the perfect life and do everything correctly! Sometimes I probably should have been more content and let things play out! But I always been so determined and such a hard worker! Probably not a great quality but I strived to get everything I wanted! Sure things always didn't pan out perfectly they way I wanted them. My mom had been married 4 times by the time I was 20. My biological father was a pretty hefty drug addict, they divorced within a few years after she had me. I've not heard from him since. Second she married my dad, Jerry. He adopted me shortly after they had married and had raised me up until they split up during my high school days. It had a major effect on me! That was definitely my family!! Probably some of the most happiest moments in my life!! My mom and dad did fight like crazy!! I see now that I'm older a divorce was probably for the best! For years it ripped me apart! Third husband was in my eyes a GARGANTUAN catastrophe! I believe my mother wanted to have more children as I was her only child and I believe she 2 or 3 miscarriages then had to have a hysterectomy. This 3rd husband had 2 children and I believed one part of her wanting to marry this man was the mother more children. They had a mother, but she felt was not up to par and my mother was gonna fix everything! Things got very bad! I remember at one point he held me up by my clothing threatening to punch me repeating the words f..ing B-word. I'm not exactly sure what I did to be in that much trouble. He was very controlling. I wasn't even allowed to get ready in my mothers room or ever take baths in the big jetted tub. I remember the day he threatened me that my mother sat in the corner and watched the entire thing and never said a word. I wanted out of that household! That was NOT ok with me. So I moved in with my dad, Jerry. My mom so angry treated me with the silent treatment! She has always been VERY good at that!! She finally divorced him after she found out he had killed someone very early on in his life and failed to tell her!
Everything at this point had definitely sent me through a loop! I still remember loving life and had a mother and father even though separated, and I had wonderful friends!! Things weren't how I would have chose, but I was happy and ready to take on the world!!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
I love her so much already. We decided on the name pretty much when we found out we were preg. Laynee Jayne or Colter Nathan. So my friends Laynee it is! Unless the doc says he finds a lil somethin somethin ;)
Right now she is an avacodo with arms and legs. And she is full of kicks and flips everytime we go in for a check up on the video. She just can't sit still... shes my girl.
I'm pretty much the size of texas right now, I have cottage cheese on my stomach and my legs look like I've got hail damage. But I absolutely love it and I could not be happier !!!
I'm on schedule to gain about 45 to 50 lbs and a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do :)
Friday, October 14, 2011
So excited to find out about our little cuttie. Can't believe this one came down from heaven so fast. We planned on waiting one year just to be married and " get to know eachother ;) " And in the past the doc told me it will take FOREVER to get preg. Then another dr told me you have 1 to 3 years to hurry and have kids or else you aren't going to have any at all. That was 5 years ago. So dang negative for all these years. To our surprise this little peanut showed up the very first try. Rock on Nathan, you have the good stuff :)
It's killing us , well mostly me. I need to know what kind it is. Do I buy brown or pink cowboy boots? Oh my this will drag out way too long, but soooo excited.
Here is my main man and myself. I finally have found my best friend in the entire. Freak I love him so much. Life is sooooo much better when someone treats you like you should be treated, and it makes you be a better person back! I feel we are both on the same page about life. We work our tails off and when its time to play we play hard!!! You have to. life is too precious not to enjoy as much as possible. We have been married for a year and a few months now and we still rock! Can't wait to see what the rest of our future holds!!